Last week, I discussed dating and its importance. It allows you to get to know many different people a little bit and lets you figure out what types of things you are looking for in a relationship. This week, I wanted to talk about marriage in its preparation and beginning stages.
As dramatically portrayed in various movies, it is assumed that the bride-to-be is essentially supposed to plan the wedding with the help of a wedding planner, her mother, or other friends and family members. However, usually the groom is not really involved. Why might that be? Does the groom not want to participate in the planning? Does the bride not want him to? I never really thought twice about how there is such an assumption that its the bride's day and her wedding and her job to plan. Although it would make much more sense to involve the other half of the relationship. It is their day, their wedding. Perhaps planning this incredible, life changing event together instead of separate, would start off there marriage practicing working together. Weddings are typically quite stressful as there are a lot of decisions to be made, moving parts, tons of emotion, and a desire to make the event special. What a perfect time to spend with your partner as you prepare to begin the next chapter of your lives together. This working together to plan requires compromise, consideration, even patience, and agreement- all skills surely needed in order to maintain a healthy marriage.
When it comes to the financial aspect of putting on a wedding, it seems the bride's parents often pay for the wedding, or at least help out quite a bit. Let's say you are the groom, and your bride's well off family has offered to pay for the wedding or make a very, very significant contribution. Now wouldn't you feel as if you owed her family something? Maybe you would not feel as independent or as if you are starting off your marriage not fulfilling your role as provider. This might be a concern and not the wisest way to begin a marriage as it almost allows her parents to have a say in the relationship- whether that was part of their intention or not. Now I'm not saying the man in the relationship has to be the one to pay for everything, or that they should not accept any help. I'm saying both should contribute in all aspects of their wedding, as a way to begin cultivating a healthy, balanced marriage.
Now diving deeper into the start of a marriage, it is common for the couple to experience financial strain. One or both spouses might be in school getting a degree, and working part or full time to make ends meet. It is not always the case for couples to have a stable, well paid job that they might obtain after they receive their degree. Couples can be in the middle of getting that degree in order to get that type of job and face financial instability. On top of that, having children may be in the works. This all can seem very concerning and overwhelming compared to couples who are gifted with a house, have stable incomes, or other financial assistance. However, those times of having to figure out what small apartment to get or how to extreme coupon can be the most meaningful. As married couples experience life together under less than desirable circumstances, they will have to lean on each other, work together, grow in faith together, and care for each other in a way that financial stability might not allow them to experience. It seems a little odd to be saying that financial struggle can be a great opportunity but it can! I know that when I get married, I want to be able to work hard with my husband and have him rely on me as much as I rely on him. I want to experience real life with him and all the struggles that come because I know we will be stronger individually, but also as one.
As dramatically portrayed in various movies, it is assumed that the bride-to-be is essentially supposed to plan the wedding with the help of a wedding planner, her mother, or other friends and family members. However, usually the groom is not really involved. Why might that be? Does the groom not want to participate in the planning? Does the bride not want him to? I never really thought twice about how there is such an assumption that its the bride's day and her wedding and her job to plan. Although it would make much more sense to involve the other half of the relationship. It is their day, their wedding. Perhaps planning this incredible, life changing event together instead of separate, would start off there marriage practicing working together. Weddings are typically quite stressful as there are a lot of decisions to be made, moving parts, tons of emotion, and a desire to make the event special. What a perfect time to spend with your partner as you prepare to begin the next chapter of your lives together. This working together to plan requires compromise, consideration, even patience, and agreement- all skills surely needed in order to maintain a healthy marriage.
When it comes to the financial aspect of putting on a wedding, it seems the bride's parents often pay for the wedding, or at least help out quite a bit. Let's say you are the groom, and your bride's well off family has offered to pay for the wedding or make a very, very significant contribution. Now wouldn't you feel as if you owed her family something? Maybe you would not feel as independent or as if you are starting off your marriage not fulfilling your role as provider. This might be a concern and not the wisest way to begin a marriage as it almost allows her parents to have a say in the relationship- whether that was part of their intention or not. Now I'm not saying the man in the relationship has to be the one to pay for everything, or that they should not accept any help. I'm saying both should contribute in all aspects of their wedding, as a way to begin cultivating a healthy, balanced marriage.
Now diving deeper into the start of a marriage, it is common for the couple to experience financial strain. One or both spouses might be in school getting a degree, and working part or full time to make ends meet. It is not always the case for couples to have a stable, well paid job that they might obtain after they receive their degree. Couples can be in the middle of getting that degree in order to get that type of job and face financial instability. On top of that, having children may be in the works. This all can seem very concerning and overwhelming compared to couples who are gifted with a house, have stable incomes, or other financial assistance. However, those times of having to figure out what small apartment to get or how to extreme coupon can be the most meaningful. As married couples experience life together under less than desirable circumstances, they will have to lean on each other, work together, grow in faith together, and care for each other in a way that financial stability might not allow them to experience. It seems a little odd to be saying that financial struggle can be a great opportunity but it can! I know that when I get married, I want to be able to work hard with my husband and have him rely on me as much as I rely on him. I want to experience real life with him and all the struggles that come because I know we will be stronger individually, but also as one.
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